Separation Anxiety (Early 2006)

Said goodbye for the last time in what will be too long. Last words still stick in my throat. If I had tried, tried to fight, I don’t think I’d be better off, but now she’s thousands of miles away and I can’t do a thing.
She says the time will fly right on by but I know it’s just a nice white lie. She says it won’t be long won’t be long but I know she’s going, going, gone. With her, my hopes, my dreams, my goals…are gone. It’s out of my control, there’s nothing I can do.
It’s done, but yet…I feel regret. Every day spent while she stayed is playing through my mind. It’s over now…but I don’t see how they can be expecting me to leave this all behind.
She says the time will fly right on by but I know it’s just a nice white lie. She says it won’t be long won’t be long but I know she’s going, going, gone. With her, my hopes, my dreams, my goals…are gone. It’s out of my control, there’s nothing I can do.

Sanity Impaired (Fall 2005)

Sara B., she scared the hell out of me inside my sheltered life…but that seems so long ago. She’d drunkenly invite me to come with her and shoot the moon; I never thought that I would go. But now, more than ever, I can’t make my mind.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.
Refusing again and again to throw my caution to the wind, afraid it would fly back in my face. But although it once seemed bent, her drunken logic now makes sense…and I believe more every day. And now, more than ever, I can’t make my mind.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.
And when these thoughts surround me, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same; and when she wraps her arms around me, I don’t think I’d mind going insane with her; I believe her; I don’t get her, but I need…insane with her; I believe her; I don’t get her, but I need her.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.

Snow Angels (November 2005)

Twenty degrees below too damn cold, it’s four AM and I’d sell my soul for a warmer coat and someone to talk to. And I don’t know why; and I can’t explain why I start feeling warmer when I hear your name. I’d call you out, but you’re still asleep in your room.
What I’d give to have you standing by my side, bundled up against the cold, close enough so I could hold you, your rosy cheeks and rosy lips would stand out against the ice…but you’re not here and I’m alone, making angels in the snow.
Everything shines when the sun hits the snow, your faintest smile would have a heavenly glow; just imagining that makes my day a bit more bright. I lie down in the snow, I let the cold be my friend…but my snow angel’s too deep and I’m in the mud again. I’m back to waiting for you to take me inside.
What I’d give to have you standing by my side, bundled up against the cold, close enough so I could hold you, your rosy cheeks and rosy lips would stand out against the ice…but you’re not here and I’m alone, making angels in the snow.

Rain (Fall 2005)

Senses dulled, every day the same; if the world explodes, will my expression change? The glass (of cyanide) is half- empty; the one who got the first half got out easy.
Inside, all it does is rain…unhappiness has blocked the drain. It’s filling up here much too fast-I don’t know how long I can last.
More awake when I’m asleep, for twenty two hours I’ve been counting sheep. “Just a phase, it can’t be helped.” I’m sick of these lies that I tell myself.
Inside, all it does is rain…unhappiness has blocked the drain. It’s filling up here much too fast-I don’t know how long I can last.
Gotta find a I gotta find a way that I can have peace. Won’t pull the trigger, won’t drown in liquor, I’m not giving up so easy. But it seems that my dreams have gone out the door; hope’s a joke that just isn’t funny anymore. I’m tired of thinking…the voice of reason has long since had her mouth taped shut.
Inside…