Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Whoops Goddamn Blues
It's raining pretty hard outside, the water's seeping through; i should've paid the 10 bucks for the nicer pair of shoes. It's getting fucking cold outside, I don't got much to do but sit here at this piece of shit and write a minor blues.I held her hair back and she thought that it was love. i tried to shoot the shit but whoops goddamn, i shot the dove. I've tried these metaphors before, and once more is enough...it's hard to win it every time when every time's a bluff.Missy told me, missy told me, missy told me thrice, don't drink too much, but if you do for god's sake keep the ice...well, its getting fucking cold outside, and the frozen drops of dew are to say the least inviting, since they have no other use; i'm in no mood for beauty, striking or sublime. I got no money in the bank, and i ain't got the time. So light me up a cigarette, steal away my lungs. I'm at the last verse anyway, the chord progression's done.
Veni, Vidi, Vodka
“I’m coming home…don’t wait up, mom, I’m alone.” And oh, how the echoes of these easy lies make their way through the phone. Time won’t slow this quickly creeping cold; I’m not coming home tonight.
Veni, Vidi, Vodka…odd that every song should sound the same. Make me believe God can hide in bottles, then maybe I’ll pray. I know right and I know wrong, but who the hell am I? I’m not coming home tonight.
Who told you rising without me was okay to do? Ooh, sorry I assumed…but Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, you must be tired too. Let the rain come round, water down these drinks I pound; I’m not coming home tonight.
Veni, Vidi, Vodka…odd that every song should sound the same. Make me believe God can hide in bottles, then maybe I’ll pray. I know right and I know wrong, but who the fuck am I? I’m not coming home tonight.
Veni, Vidi, Vodka…odd that every song should sound the same. Make me believe God can hide in bottles, then maybe I’ll pray. I know right and I know wrong, but who the hell am I? I’m not coming home tonight.
Who told you rising without me was okay to do? Ooh, sorry I assumed…but Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, you must be tired too. Let the rain come round, water down these drinks I pound; I’m not coming home tonight.
Veni, Vidi, Vodka…odd that every song should sound the same. Make me believe God can hide in bottles, then maybe I’ll pray. I know right and I know wrong, but who the fuck am I? I’m not coming home tonight.
Young and Ordinary
Wordless conversation in the backseat of the car between me and Lady Luck; but now she’s looking for somebody new she can fuck and I rue getting too greedy too soon. Now she’s posing downtown, cigarette in her frown, she moonlights as headlights ignite the sad sight of my loss.
Shadow still scares me, love. Can’t you see I am young and ordinary?
The boardwalk is dark now
And I’m going home.
I can fight the midnight, take a cold shower to wash wanton dreams from my skin; but they’re deep in. How I wish this were shallow, I wish this were shallow and I
Hanged from the gallows for days before you cut me down…but I don’t like the ground. It’s cold and it’s hard and it’s lonely so lonely and I…
Shadow still scares me, love. Can’t you see I am young and ordinary?
The boardwalk is dark now
And I’m going home.
Shadow still scares me, love. Can’t you see I am young and ordinary?
The boardwalk is dark now
And I’m going home.
I can fight the midnight, take a cold shower to wash wanton dreams from my skin; but they’re deep in. How I wish this were shallow, I wish this were shallow and I
Hanged from the gallows for days before you cut me down…but I don’t like the ground. It’s cold and it’s hard and it’s lonely so lonely and I…
Shadow still scares me, love. Can’t you see I am young and ordinary?
The boardwalk is dark now
And I’m going home.
Say Go
Carrie, puffing on a cigarette, never wary of the dawn’s regret, kisses me once again with a hey-oh! Shoot a round and say go. That’s the way it goes oh wait my clothes are not close but we are. We are such terrible people, with our consciences in a flask; one sip too hardened and feeble. But I only want to drink with you…I’d only want to drink with you.
Steer me. Our designated driver can’t be found. Growing weary of no thoughts aloud as your Dionysian charm still whispers hey-oh! Shoot a round and say go. That’s the way it goes oh wait my clothes are not close but we are. We are such terrible people, with our consciences in a flask; one sip too hardened and feeble. But I only want to drink with you…I’d only want to drink with you.
Lately, I’ve been thinking maybe I’ve been wrong, along with all the armies, arms raised strong; while they’re throwing stones, we’re throwing smiles with a hey-oh! Shoot a round and say go. That’s the way it goes, oh but I know that its close but we aren’t such terrible people, with our consciences in a flask; one sip too hardened and feeble. But I only want to drink with you…I’d only want to drink with you.
Steer me. Our designated driver can’t be found. Growing weary of no thoughts aloud as your Dionysian charm still whispers hey-oh! Shoot a round and say go. That’s the way it goes oh wait my clothes are not close but we are. We are such terrible people, with our consciences in a flask; one sip too hardened and feeble. But I only want to drink with you…I’d only want to drink with you.
Lately, I’ve been thinking maybe I’ve been wrong, along with all the armies, arms raised strong; while they’re throwing stones, we’re throwing smiles with a hey-oh! Shoot a round and say go. That’s the way it goes, oh but I know that its close but we aren’t such terrible people, with our consciences in a flask; one sip too hardened and feeble. But I only want to drink with you…I’d only want to drink with you.
Pirouettes
Paid my debts, compliments for pirouettes
And lying post-duet, “all I know is I have no regrets.”
So she said as she rose from her rose red bedspread
I let her know I’d let her go, expecting better luck to show
I set my hopes to rest with the rest of the dope on her bedside table;
A lovely bowl of dreams to hold…I’ve smoked since I was 10 years old.
I should quit but I’m not able.
Your side of the mattress is cold and so flat, less the weight of your heat next to mine, it’s
Easily ninety degrees in this room, but I think I might freeze without you…alone we entwine.
I watched her sleep, a quixotic pastime to keep, I know. But Oh, the realist seeps into my bones…so I walked as she dreamed and seemed to talk of lips locked.
I let her know I’d let her go, expecting better luck to show
I set my hopes to rest with the rest of the dope on her bedside table;
A lovely bowl of dreams to hold…I’ve smoked since I was 10 years old.
I should quit but I’m not able.
Your side of the mattress is cold and so flat, less the weight of your heat next to mine, it’s
Easily ninety degrees in this room, but I think I might freeze without you…alone we entwine.
Reflecting through empty wine glasses, the morning light shines through the door. I follow the source till my bed [heart] isn’t yours and my conscience burns no more.
And lying post-duet, “all I know is I have no regrets.”
So she said as she rose from her rose red bedspread
I let her know I’d let her go, expecting better luck to show
I set my hopes to rest with the rest of the dope on her bedside table;
A lovely bowl of dreams to hold…I’ve smoked since I was 10 years old.
I should quit but I’m not able.
Your side of the mattress is cold and so flat, less the weight of your heat next to mine, it’s
Easily ninety degrees in this room, but I think I might freeze without you…alone we entwine.
I watched her sleep, a quixotic pastime to keep, I know. But Oh, the realist seeps into my bones…so I walked as she dreamed and seemed to talk of lips locked.
I let her know I’d let her go, expecting better luck to show
I set my hopes to rest with the rest of the dope on her bedside table;
A lovely bowl of dreams to hold…I’ve smoked since I was 10 years old.
I should quit but I’m not able.
Your side of the mattress is cold and so flat, less the weight of your heat next to mine, it’s
Easily ninety degrees in this room, but I think I might freeze without you…alone we entwine.
Reflecting through empty wine glasses, the morning light shines through the door. I follow the source till my bed [heart] isn’t yours and my conscience burns no more.
Mr. Morgan
Mr. Morgan, I remember when we were first introduced…twenty minutes later I was pretty damn juiced and I’ve gotten used to facing more proof than I would choose. And you’re always there with the evidence, always helping me drink in reverence for those lost at sea…Oh, Mr. Morgan, you’re the captain for me.
And she just walked in through the door
(Come on and hit me again!)
So sail me farther from the shore
(Come on…) while my
Heart is on my sleeve
And my shirt is on the floor
I’ll steal one kiss or four or ten
Give my regards to Mr. Morgan
Mr. Morgan, you’ve helped me meet more girls than I can recall. No, really, the memories stop at the bathroom stall. Names and numbers blend with faces and diseases, swirling all together like one of these Bay Breezes. And you’re always there with the evidence, always helping me drink in reverence for those lost at sea…Oh, Mr. Morgan, you’re the captain for me.
And she just walked in through the door
(Come on and hit me again!)
So sail me farther from the shore
(Come on…) while my
Heart is on my sleeve
And my shirt is on the floor
I’ll steal one kiss or four or ten
Give my regards to Mr. Morgan
Oh Mr. Morgan, it was you and me and the cop makes three in the parking lot behind the bar. We made clever conversation leading to a year’s probation but…I’ve still got a couple bottles in the car, it’s not far and your hazy semblance is always here with the evidence, With another swig, it’s so evident…I am lost at sea…Oh Mr. Morgan, you’re the captain for me.
And she just walked out through the door
(Come on and hit me again!)
So sail me farther from the shore
(Come on…) and my
Heart stays on my sleeve
As I’m passed out on the floor
Alone with retrospect and a bottle but the bottle still holds more
Give my regards to Mr. Morgan.
And she just walked in through the door
(Come on and hit me again!)
So sail me farther from the shore
(Come on…) while my
Heart is on my sleeve
And my shirt is on the floor
I’ll steal one kiss or four or ten
Give my regards to Mr. Morgan
Mr. Morgan, you’ve helped me meet more girls than I can recall. No, really, the memories stop at the bathroom stall. Names and numbers blend with faces and diseases, swirling all together like one of these Bay Breezes. And you’re always there with the evidence, always helping me drink in reverence for those lost at sea…Oh, Mr. Morgan, you’re the captain for me.
And she just walked in through the door
(Come on and hit me again!)
So sail me farther from the shore
(Come on…) while my
Heart is on my sleeve
And my shirt is on the floor
I’ll steal one kiss or four or ten
Give my regards to Mr. Morgan
Oh Mr. Morgan, it was you and me and the cop makes three in the parking lot behind the bar. We made clever conversation leading to a year’s probation but…I’ve still got a couple bottles in the car, it’s not far and your hazy semblance is always here with the evidence, With another swig, it’s so evident…I am lost at sea…Oh Mr. Morgan, you’re the captain for me.
And she just walked out through the door
(Come on and hit me again!)
So sail me farther from the shore
(Come on…) and my
Heart stays on my sleeve
As I’m passed out on the floor
Alone with retrospect and a bottle but the bottle still holds more
Give my regards to Mr. Morgan.
Just to Hear You Say
Just to hear you say (lyrics: Mike & James Glasgow)
What if I met you in a hurricane? The wind would throw our hair around and round again, and if you said I love you, then the words would just blow away. I would go anywhere just to hear you say…
What if I met you on a cold winter’s day? So numb, you couldn’t feel the kisses on your face; and if you said “I love you,” then the words would just freeze in place.
Just one more kiss, don’t spread your lips; I know everything, everything, every word you won’t breathe eases an empty peace into every sigh I heave. I can deny, still dignified, that all this time I fly on lies…still I would go anywhere just to hear you say…
What if I met you in the deep Deep South? Magnolia blossoms hanging heavy on the bough…and If you said “I love you,” then the words would just melt in your mouth.
What if I met you on a turtle’s back? We’d walk in endless circles, tracing out the cracks. I’d lose the minutes, hours, days, while praying that you might say…I would go anywhere just to hear you say…
What if I met you in a hurricane? The wind would throw our hair around and round again, and if you said I love you, then the words would just blow away. I would go anywhere just to hear you say…
What if I met you on a cold winter’s day? So numb, you couldn’t feel the kisses on your face; and if you said “I love you,” then the words would just freeze in place.
Just one more kiss, don’t spread your lips; I know everything, everything, every word you won’t breathe eases an empty peace into every sigh I heave. I can deny, still dignified, that all this time I fly on lies…still I would go anywhere just to hear you say…
What if I met you in the deep Deep South? Magnolia blossoms hanging heavy on the bough…and If you said “I love you,” then the words would just melt in your mouth.
What if I met you on a turtle’s back? We’d walk in endless circles, tracing out the cracks. I’d lose the minutes, hours, days, while praying that you might say…I would go anywhere just to hear you say…
Brody Ave
I hate to think back to days spent in this flat, claiming your habits weren’t so bad, it’s
All I can do to try and forget you, try and forget this past and this place
One more walk down Brody Ave, to pay my respects on the bloodstained ground
Hospital bills and bandages are as gone as you now, I’m done tearing the barbed wire down.
One more walk, one more walk and I’m gone…I’m somewhere better bound.
Counting the pills on your countertop, millions
waiting to take you far away, you
Won’t take one dose, one cure for emotion
Drowning in oceans all alone
Just one more walk down Brody Ave, to pay my respects on the bloodstained ground
Hospital bills and bandages are as gone as you now, I’m done tearing the barbed wire down.
One more walk, one more walk and I’m gone…I’m somewhere better bound.
Fighting memories of your lies, I sliced the ties and lines in much the same way as you cut yourself for all those years, the manufactured tears that grew
so old
as I
grew cold
while
I was fighting memories of your eyes, surprised, I realized if you died tomorrow I wouldn’t know the difference, no telephone call or its voice
To tell me
Are you happy
Are you lonely
Are you breathing still?
All I can do to try and forget you, try and forget this past and this place
One more walk down Brody Ave, to pay my respects on the bloodstained ground
Hospital bills and bandages are as gone as you now, I’m done tearing the barbed wire down.
One more walk, one more walk and I’m gone…I’m somewhere better bound.
Counting the pills on your countertop, millions
waiting to take you far away, you
Won’t take one dose, one cure for emotion
Drowning in oceans all alone
Just one more walk down Brody Ave, to pay my respects on the bloodstained ground
Hospital bills and bandages are as gone as you now, I’m done tearing the barbed wire down.
One more walk, one more walk and I’m gone…I’m somewhere better bound.
Fighting memories of your lies, I sliced the ties and lines in much the same way as you cut yourself for all those years, the manufactured tears that grew
so old
as I
grew cold
while
I was fighting memories of your eyes, surprised, I realized if you died tomorrow I wouldn’t know the difference, no telephone call or its voice
To tell me
Are you happy
Are you lonely
Are you breathing still?
Marie
On the day you came back into town, my hamster died and my car broke down.
You had smiled (my misfortune detox)...Distracted, I ran over your friend's mailbox.
Laughing, you had said you were bad luck (Like it's your fault that my driving sucks).
Still, I note the growing evidence As your small joke keeps making more and more sense
I had no idea superstition could be Pretty and smart and nice to hold When we're watching stars in the cold night air...I'm singing
I can deal As long as bad luck feels this great I'd break a mirror every day.
It's my good fortune that I can say You should know I wouldn't trade this for anything.
You see, Marie, you caught me unawares That time I choked upon the gummi bear.
You had been gone for two years (more or less)...Then you walked in, knocked me speechless with your blue dress.
I had no idea superstition could be Pretty and smart and nice to hold When we're watching stars in the cold night air...I'm singing
I can deal As long as bad luck feels this great I'd break a mirror every day.
It's my good fortune that I can say You should know I wouldn't trade this for anything.
You had smiled (my misfortune detox)...Distracted, I ran over your friend's mailbox.
Laughing, you had said you were bad luck (Like it's your fault that my driving sucks).
Still, I note the growing evidence As your small joke keeps making more and more sense
I had no idea superstition could be Pretty and smart and nice to hold When we're watching stars in the cold night air...I'm singing
I can deal As long as bad luck feels this great I'd break a mirror every day.
It's my good fortune that I can say You should know I wouldn't trade this for anything.
You see, Marie, you caught me unawares That time I choked upon the gummi bear.
You had been gone for two years (more or less)...Then you walked in, knocked me speechless with your blue dress.
I had no idea superstition could be Pretty and smart and nice to hold When we're watching stars in the cold night air...I'm singing
I can deal As long as bad luck feels this great I'd break a mirror every day.
It's my good fortune that I can say You should know I wouldn't trade this for anything.
Denial (draft)
I’m sure Susan’s not pregnant
And I know the knock knock I hear presently is the pizza guy, of course it’s not police.
You lied about the lease, I’ve at least a week till time is expired and
Deceased (just like my best friend isn’t)
I’m not conceited
I’ve never cheated
I was never in love and
I’m feeling great!
[Grate]-ing on my nerves is: nothing at all!
Grandma’s just fine, there’s no sign of the fall.
It’s a good thing I don’t smoke
Or drink
Or form addictive habits that could sabotage my chance of having plans
Like mom had said I would
And I know the knock knock I hear presently is the pizza guy, of course it’s not police.
You lied about the lease, I’ve at least a week till time is expired and
Deceased (just like my best friend isn’t)
I’m not conceited
I’ve never cheated
I was never in love and
I’m feeling great!
[Grate]-ing on my nerves is: nothing at all!
Grandma’s just fine, there’s no sign of the fall.
It’s a good thing I don’t smoke
Or drink
Or form addictive habits that could sabotage my chance of having plans
Like mom had said I would
Bad Ideas Involving You and Me
Kiss me once, yeah kiss me twice, oh kiss me enough, we’ll forget the lies…I spin a line bout the light in your eyes (words courtesy of this bottle of vice) and when your lips rest on your glass, ignoring tact, forsaking class, they’d scream out louder than the bass if they could, “who needs a soul when you look this good?”
Are you coming tonight? Come on, douse the lights, roll the dice-make nice and it might suffice…cold basement replacement for honesty (trite, overrated). Dedication isn’t more than a sight to see in this museum of rites we believed to be worth a damn but oh how you’re selling me on this sweet felony oh now you’re telling me forget fidelity…
Please don’t stop…I’ve got all week to feel regret. For now, I’d rather feel your heat. Dance out the fear; just move your hips, I’ll whisper bad ideas involving you and me.
Are you coming tonight? Come on, douse the lights, roll the dice-make nice and it might suffice…cold basement replacement for honesty (trite, overrated). Dedication isn’t more than a sight to see in this museum of rites we believed to be worth a damn but oh how you’re selling me on this sweet felony oh now you’re telling me forget fidelity…
Please don’t stop…I’ve got all week to feel regret. For now, I’d rather feel your heat. Dance out the fear; just move your hips, I’ll whisper bad ideas involving you and me.
Days of Sirens and Smoke
I’m in a daze…how many days has it been raining? The crabapple flowers are still hours away from dry. Pink branches sigh, they can bide their time (so can I) dripping remains of the season away. And I’m reminded of days of sirens and smoke, I choked on that sweet fog for so long…and I’m tired. Who put out the fire? No one warned me at all.
Try not to drown, I see the high ground is sinking…I wrote these chords down with your arms around my neck. A smoldering wreck burning recklessly now expires. Summer is gone, lost in puddles by the pyre.
Why would you love me? Why would you kiss me in my moonlight? Silhouette of dying boy and dreaming girl. Why would you love me? Why make it so damned hard to fall? “No regrets,” that lonely cigarette (to calm and burn) dissolves.
Try not to drown, I see the high ground is sinking…I wrote these chords down with your arms around my neck. A smoldering wreck burning recklessly now expires. Summer is gone, lost in puddles by the pyre.
Why would you love me? Why would you kiss me in my moonlight? Silhouette of dying boy and dreaming girl. Why would you love me? Why make it so damned hard to fall? “No regrets,” that lonely cigarette (to calm and burn) dissolves.
Perjury
Taking names and numbers of witnesses
Witless to the motive, opportunity, or crime
My body count is growing exponentially,
A deadly trend of friends with whom I spent my time.
Asphyxiation seems probable
With all the smoke rising from the ashes
Of burning evidence and bridges,
And I tell myself that air is overrated…
I can keep on lying (and dying) like this
Long after she’s long gone;
One more heavy black bag for me to carry.
But the reporter wants to know
The details; damn this idea of trust we have
(Or had). I can trust, I can forgive,
Faking smiles over dinner. Of course I can.
I’m the sinner.
Truth is my exclusive privilege. With my
Clever words and silent gun, I manipulate reality
And give life to new memories; the bystanders
With reason to protest have mysteriously disappeared.
And the reporter (my beautiful, demanding
Fountain of guilt) can almost extract
Honesty (a word almost as important as almost).
But my crocodile grin prevails again
And memories of my motive return in a flood of
Longing and regret;
Accidents and outright murder,
Fleeting emotions and passions
Persuade me to perjure myself
For an accomplice I can never love.
Witless to the motive, opportunity, or crime
My body count is growing exponentially,
A deadly trend of friends with whom I spent my time.
Asphyxiation seems probable
With all the smoke rising from the ashes
Of burning evidence and bridges,
And I tell myself that air is overrated…
I can keep on lying (and dying) like this
Long after she’s long gone;
One more heavy black bag for me to carry.
But the reporter wants to know
The details; damn this idea of trust we have
(Or had). I can trust, I can forgive,
Faking smiles over dinner. Of course I can.
I’m the sinner.
Truth is my exclusive privilege. With my
Clever words and silent gun, I manipulate reality
And give life to new memories; the bystanders
With reason to protest have mysteriously disappeared.
And the reporter (my beautiful, demanding
Fountain of guilt) can almost extract
Honesty (a word almost as important as almost).
But my crocodile grin prevails again
And memories of my motive return in a flood of
Longing and regret;
Accidents and outright murder,
Fleeting emotions and passions
Persuade me to perjure myself
For an accomplice I can never love.
interesting side note...
interesting side note...shortly after "what it feels like to laugh," i broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a month or so. lyrics from this point on are quite a bit different, I feel, now that i look back at all of them. there is a good bit more debauchery, bad decisions and alliteration.
Which was pretty much my summer, come to think of it.
Which was pretty much my summer, come to think of it.
What it Feels Like to Laugh
Kind of sad, how I get along… I should be crying and instead I write a song. You know I know this piano can only hide me for so long. Still, I sit at this sorry bench, drinking (sinking), thinking every time you mentioned your discontent. Every dream we had, I’ve come to resent…but you’re spinning circles through my mind; how your hands fit in mine, the way you dance, our wasted time…
How I loved nervous breakdowns on your lawn…una poquito piquito in the backseat and you’re gone. And I’ll deny I ever tried to share my confusion with the fusion of our lips. Lies are spinning through my mind; how your hands fit in mine, the way you danced away the time…I could pull you back and kiss you. Or I could pretend that I won’t miss you.
…Damn that suitcase by the door, I’m more than willing to spend more time with all that baggage of yours. Why don’t we just go and unpack, make some lunch and remember what it feels like to laugh?
How I loved nervous breakdowns on your lawn…una poquito piquito in the backseat and you’re gone. And I’ll deny I ever tried to share my confusion with the fusion of our lips. Lies are spinning through my mind; how your hands fit in mine, the way you danced away the time…I could pull you back and kiss you. Or I could pretend that I won’t miss you.
…Damn that suitcase by the door, I’m more than willing to spend more time with all that baggage of yours. Why don’t we just go and unpack, make some lunch and remember what it feels like to laugh?
(The Last) Lullaby
If I should trade this heaven for another before I wake in your arms, If I’m taken away before I can say “I love you” one more time, hold my hand and kiss me goodnight (and maybe goodbye…for all our plans, there’s no guarantee this isn’t the last lullaby). So pray that tomorrow comes, but I’ll wait for you if I find the sun has set too soon. If we should part due to the stopping of my heart, I know I’ll hold you again.
If I should die, if I should set aside this world with you against my will, If I should trade this heaven for another, I’ll wait. I’ll wait.
If I should die, if I should set aside this world with you against my will, If I should trade this heaven for another, I’ll wait. I’ll wait.
I Don't See Rehab on the Menu (Early 2007)
---this is an instrumental piece, but i've always toyed with the idea of lyrics. these are the snippets from around january 2007---
Thanks for meeting me here tonight, would you care for some wine? I’m not gonna drink much myself, but I think if you do this will easier for us both.
I’ll tell the truth, I’m little bit nervous (like at last Sunday’s service…I try not to forget to pray, but I’m not a saint)…and I’m rambling again.
I shouldn’t have even come in.
What did we think we could do over dinner for two? Did we expect to be better by the time we got the check? Well, I don’t see rehab on the menu, sorry for dragging you to this place…I guess it was all a mistake.
For the first time in my life, I’m afraid to speak tonight…I wish the tables weren’t set (the threat of the knife by your hand isn’t helping my nerves) We’ve aimed our guns and we won’t take our hands off in this Mexican standoff. As soon as you spread your lips, all may go to hell…and I’d leave well enough alone but I can’t tell if this thing was meant to end (was it ever even a “thing” at all?). Well, I don’t know but here we are, afraid to move cause I was scared to stall.
Thanks for meeting me here tonight, would you care for some wine? I’m not gonna drink much myself, but I think if you do this will easier for us both.
I’ll tell the truth, I’m little bit nervous (like at last Sunday’s service…I try not to forget to pray, but I’m not a saint)…and I’m rambling again.
I shouldn’t have even come in.
What did we think we could do over dinner for two? Did we expect to be better by the time we got the check? Well, I don’t see rehab on the menu, sorry for dragging you to this place…I guess it was all a mistake.
For the first time in my life, I’m afraid to speak tonight…I wish the tables weren’t set (the threat of the knife by your hand isn’t helping my nerves) We’ve aimed our guns and we won’t take our hands off in this Mexican standoff. As soon as you spread your lips, all may go to hell…and I’d leave well enough alone but I can’t tell if this thing was meant to end (was it ever even a “thing” at all?). Well, I don’t know but here we are, afraid to move cause I was scared to stall.
Untitled/unfinished (early 2007)
Oh, how you cry, come rest on my shoulder. Tears roll down your cheeks and the evening grows older, paying no mind to this tragedy soaked in cheap wine. I’m impressed; this shirt looks its best as it greedily takes up your bleeding black make-up; stealing dark streams from the dark eyes that brightened my dreams...but with every word you breathe, every sigh you heave, you cross the line.
Let's Pretend (Fall 2006)
It can’t have been much more than ten minutes or so since I learned your name…my plans are made; a billion ways to show you I’m not the same. I’m falling hard I’m falling hard…when you smile it’s all I can do. I know, I know, I can’t go slow…call me stupid, but it’s out of my hands with you. Just for tonight, love at first sight can be real…it’s worth a try…we don’t pretend that we believe; believe me, I can change my mind. Just for tonight, love at first sight can be real…it’s worth a try…so let’s pretend it’s not pretend; believe me, I’ve changed my mind…
Cardboard Sunset (Fall 2006)
Why use my eyes? The angry skies above this train aren’t raining any consolation. Your perfume still hangs on my clothes; your lips (and liquor) are just echoes of drunken desperation in the air last night. The more I muse, the more I find your love’s the only thing I can call true. But I act what I can’t feel, and so my life spins reel-to-reel; my own disaster in living color.
I strike a pose…sit back, relax and watch the show. Drum roll, the firing squad is set to go. My blindfold’s on in this vignette, I light my last prop cigarette, and pray you save me from my cardboard sunset.
Time flies by, again I try; scene 1, take 365 and I’ve seen all the staging. I stole my lines from Cary Grant, yeah Fred Astaire taught me to dance… I am Jack’s life imitating art…and yet your heart is mine to hold, to stay the cold. Your love’s the only thing I can call true. But frankly, Scarlet, I can’t speak (the dubbing’s off, the signal’s weak) and I’m left waiting for the set to fall…
I strike a pose…sit back, relax and watch the show. Drum roll, the firing squad is set to go. My blindfold’s on in this vignette, I light my last prop cigarette, and pray you save me from my cardboard sunset.
Oh what a movie this would be, a stylish hit whose wit and tactful ironic twists are served up dry. Oh, I just like the imagery: roses paint my whispers of affection and clouds weep with our every kiss goodbye.
I strike a pose…sit back, relax and watch the show. Drum roll, the firing squad is set to go. My blindfold’s on in this vignette, I light my last prop cigarette, and pray you save me from my cardboard sunset.
I strike a pose…sit back, relax and watch the show. Drum roll, the firing squad is set to go. My blindfold’s on in this vignette, I light my last prop cigarette, and pray you save me from my cardboard sunset.
Time flies by, again I try; scene 1, take 365 and I’ve seen all the staging. I stole my lines from Cary Grant, yeah Fred Astaire taught me to dance… I am Jack’s life imitating art…and yet your heart is mine to hold, to stay the cold. Your love’s the only thing I can call true. But frankly, Scarlet, I can’t speak (the dubbing’s off, the signal’s weak) and I’m left waiting for the set to fall…
I strike a pose…sit back, relax and watch the show. Drum roll, the firing squad is set to go. My blindfold’s on in this vignette, I light my last prop cigarette, and pray you save me from my cardboard sunset.
Oh what a movie this would be, a stylish hit whose wit and tactful ironic twists are served up dry. Oh, I just like the imagery: roses paint my whispers of affection and clouds weep with our every kiss goodbye.
I strike a pose…sit back, relax and watch the show. Drum roll, the firing squad is set to go. My blindfold’s on in this vignette, I light my last prop cigarette, and pray you save me from my cardboard sunset.
Sweet Memories (Summer 2006)
Photographs of you pain my mind, paint my room.
Every word I breathe just brings back to me ghosts of your kiss.
I start to wish the sweet memories would fade; memories would fade away.
Summer slips away, losing hours, losing days
(as my lips lose their urge to speak your name)
Still I can’t smile
Just for a while until all that’s left can fade; memories can fade away
(Funny, I can’t find your face in this mind of erased dreams…but the pain I feel now is far more real now that I’ve lost you one more time)
Finding it’s too late to admit my mistake, I lose you (and my health)
As I tell myself I won’t forget
As I forget these sweet memories; they fade.
I can’t let them fade away.
Memories, they fade.
Please don’t let them fade away.
Every word I breathe just brings back to me ghosts of your kiss.
I start to wish the sweet memories would fade; memories would fade away.
Summer slips away, losing hours, losing days
(as my lips lose their urge to speak your name)
Still I can’t smile
Just for a while until all that’s left can fade; memories can fade away
(Funny, I can’t find your face in this mind of erased dreams…but the pain I feel now is far more real now that I’ve lost you one more time)
Finding it’s too late to admit my mistake, I lose you (and my health)
As I tell myself I won’t forget
As I forget these sweet memories; they fade.
I can’t let them fade away.
Memories, they fade.
Please don’t let them fade away.
So Goodbye and Thank God for the French Exchange (Early 2006)
Been two weeks since Josephine came here from France, and I’m feeling something that I want to tell her (but I can’t). Maybe love is this sensation…could just be infatuation…I’ll just wait for the translation. (if it comes from her, I’d wait all year). But after today she won’t be here.
But there’s still so much more that I want to say…tant pis pour moi, parce que je ne parle pas francais. By tomorrow you’ll be on your plane, so goodbye and thank god for the french exchange.
When she says “J’ai besion d’une cigarette,” I’ve got no clue what she’s saying (but it’s something poetic I bet). Here I am in clueless nature…speechless without a translator…why could she not just leave later? It’s not fair. If only she didn’t have to go. What I’d give, god only knows.
But there’s still so much more that I want to say…tant pis pour moi, parce que je ne parle pas francais. By tomorrow you’ll be on your plane, so goodbye and thank god for the french exchange.
But there’s still so much more that I want to say…tant pis pour moi, parce que je ne parle pas francais. By tomorrow you’ll be on your plane, so goodbye and thank god for the french exchange.
When she says “J’ai besion d’une cigarette,” I’ve got no clue what she’s saying (but it’s something poetic I bet). Here I am in clueless nature…speechless without a translator…why could she not just leave later? It’s not fair. If only she didn’t have to go. What I’d give, god only knows.
But there’s still so much more that I want to say…tant pis pour moi, parce que je ne parle pas francais. By tomorrow you’ll be on your plane, so goodbye and thank god for the french exchange.
The Prom Song (spring 2006)
Dave’s got a tux and he’s got a headache, week of the prom (with no prom date). I’m happily taken so I can’t relate much, but I’ve seen his list and I see why this sucks…
can’t decide…running out of time…
-Allie’s drop dead gorgeous, it’s a shame she hates my guts.
-Molly makes my heart sing, but as they say, she’s nucking futs.
-I’d love to ask Mireille to dance, but in a week she’s back in France.
-I’d whisper sweet nothings into Julie’s ear (if her boyfriend wasn’t here)
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
-Jenny and Melissa would both be a lot more fun if Jen were ever sober and I ever saw Melissa drunk.
-That girl looks nice, I’d like to meet her…oh god she’s a student teacher.
-Suzie’s hot, but her dad owns a Glock and says she can’t be out past eight o’clock.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
can’t decide…running out of time…
-Allie’s drop dead gorgeous, it’s a shame she hates my guts.
-Molly makes my heart sing, but as they say, she’s nucking futs.
-I’d love to ask Mireille to dance, but in a week she’s back in France.
-I’d whisper sweet nothings into Julie’s ear (if her boyfriend wasn’t here)
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
-Jenny and Melissa would both be a lot more fun if Jen were ever sober and I ever saw Melissa drunk.
-That girl looks nice, I’d like to meet her…oh god she’s a student teacher.
-Suzie’s hot, but her dad owns a Glock and says she can’t be out past eight o’clock.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
Separation Anxiety (Early 2006)
Said goodbye for the last time in what will be too long. Last words still stick in my throat. If I had tried, tried to fight, I don’t think I’d be better off, but now she’s thousands of miles away and I can’t do a thing.
She says the time will fly right on by but I know it’s just a nice white lie. She says it won’t be long won’t be long but I know she’s going, going, gone. With her, my hopes, my dreams, my goals…are gone. It’s out of my control, there’s nothing I can do.
It’s done, but yet…I feel regret. Every day spent while she stayed is playing through my mind. It’s over now…but I don’t see how they can be expecting me to leave this all behind.
She says the time will fly right on by but I know it’s just a nice white lie. She says it won’t be long won’t be long but I know she’s going, going, gone. With her, my hopes, my dreams, my goals…are gone. It’s out of my control, there’s nothing I can do.
She says the time will fly right on by but I know it’s just a nice white lie. She says it won’t be long won’t be long but I know she’s going, going, gone. With her, my hopes, my dreams, my goals…are gone. It’s out of my control, there’s nothing I can do.
It’s done, but yet…I feel regret. Every day spent while she stayed is playing through my mind. It’s over now…but I don’t see how they can be expecting me to leave this all behind.
She says the time will fly right on by but I know it’s just a nice white lie. She says it won’t be long won’t be long but I know she’s going, going, gone. With her, my hopes, my dreams, my goals…are gone. It’s out of my control, there’s nothing I can do.
Sanity Impaired (Fall 2005)
Sara B., she scared the hell out of me inside my sheltered life…but that seems so long ago. She’d drunkenly invite me to come with her and shoot the moon; I never thought that I would go. But now, more than ever, I can’t make my mind.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.
Refusing again and again to throw my caution to the wind, afraid it would fly back in my face. But although it once seemed bent, her drunken logic now makes sense…and I believe more every day. And now, more than ever, I can’t make my mind.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.
And when these thoughts surround me, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same; and when she wraps her arms around me, I don’t think I’d mind going insane with her; I believe her; I don’t get her, but I need…insane with her; I believe her; I don’t get her, but I need her.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.
Refusing again and again to throw my caution to the wind, afraid it would fly back in my face. But although it once seemed bent, her drunken logic now makes sense…and I believe more every day. And now, more than ever, I can’t make my mind.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.
And when these thoughts surround me, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same; and when she wraps her arms around me, I don’t think I’d mind going insane with her; I believe her; I don’t get her, but I need…insane with her; I believe her; I don’t get her, but I need her.
Something in the way she slurs her words makes me want to lose my mind and go with her…and I know I should be scared, but I’d rather be sanity impaired with her.
Snow Angels (November 2005)
Twenty degrees below too damn cold, it’s four AM and I’d sell my soul for a warmer coat and someone to talk to. And I don’t know why; and I can’t explain why I start feeling warmer when I hear your name. I’d call you out, but you’re still asleep in your room.
What I’d give to have you standing by my side, bundled up against the cold, close enough so I could hold you, your rosy cheeks and rosy lips would stand out against the ice…but you’re not here and I’m alone, making angels in the snow.
Everything shines when the sun hits the snow, your faintest smile would have a heavenly glow; just imagining that makes my day a bit more bright. I lie down in the snow, I let the cold be my friend…but my snow angel’s too deep and I’m in the mud again. I’m back to waiting for you to take me inside.
What I’d give to have you standing by my side, bundled up against the cold, close enough so I could hold you, your rosy cheeks and rosy lips would stand out against the ice…but you’re not here and I’m alone, making angels in the snow.
What I’d give to have you standing by my side, bundled up against the cold, close enough so I could hold you, your rosy cheeks and rosy lips would stand out against the ice…but you’re not here and I’m alone, making angels in the snow.
Everything shines when the sun hits the snow, your faintest smile would have a heavenly glow; just imagining that makes my day a bit more bright. I lie down in the snow, I let the cold be my friend…but my snow angel’s too deep and I’m in the mud again. I’m back to waiting for you to take me inside.
What I’d give to have you standing by my side, bundled up against the cold, close enough so I could hold you, your rosy cheeks and rosy lips would stand out against the ice…but you’re not here and I’m alone, making angels in the snow.
Rain (Fall 2005)
Senses dulled, every day the same; if the world explodes, will my expression change? The glass (of cyanide) is half- empty; the one who got the first half got out easy.
Inside, all it does is rain…unhappiness has blocked the drain. It’s filling up here much too fast-I don’t know how long I can last.
More awake when I’m asleep, for twenty two hours I’ve been counting sheep. “Just a phase, it can’t be helped.” I’m sick of these lies that I tell myself.
Inside, all it does is rain…unhappiness has blocked the drain. It’s filling up here much too fast-I don’t know how long I can last.
Gotta find a I gotta find a way that I can have peace. Won’t pull the trigger, won’t drown in liquor, I’m not giving up so easy. But it seems that my dreams have gone out the door; hope’s a joke that just isn’t funny anymore. I’m tired of thinking…the voice of reason has long since had her mouth taped shut.
Inside…
Inside, all it does is rain…unhappiness has blocked the drain. It’s filling up here much too fast-I don’t know how long I can last.
More awake when I’m asleep, for twenty two hours I’ve been counting sheep. “Just a phase, it can’t be helped.” I’m sick of these lies that I tell myself.
Inside, all it does is rain…unhappiness has blocked the drain. It’s filling up here much too fast-I don’t know how long I can last.
Gotta find a I gotta find a way that I can have peace. Won’t pull the trigger, won’t drown in liquor, I’m not giving up so easy. But it seems that my dreams have gone out the door; hope’s a joke that just isn’t funny anymore. I’m tired of thinking…the voice of reason has long since had her mouth taped shut.
Inside…
Entry One
Tuesday Morning. Not as epic as one might have hoped, but we're getting by nonetheless. This blog is for lyrics, poetry, and random expulsions from my mind as they come. And stories about living life like a movie, if i have any luck left. Time to get started on lyrics. I'm going to go in chronological order, I believe.
ciao.
ciao.
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